Fred: He told you you were too negative. He’s right, you know.
Me: Well, that’s not exactly what he said. He really just said that I sometimes speak from a place of negativity, and that maybe we, all people, need think about coming from a place of more positivity when trying to reach others and help them.
Fred: Which means you’re too negative.
Assassin Bunny: You need to step the fuck back, Fred.
Me: That’s not what he meant, and that’s not what he said!
Fred: You have no idea what he said. You don’t remember exactly what was said. You have a horrible memory, and when you do remember things, 75 percent of the time they’re false. You can’t trust your memory. You can’t trust what you think you remember him saying.
Assassin Bunny: Fred, you are such a DICK. What is the point of this argument? Why is it even relevant?
Fred: Shut-up you over-sized rabbit with delusions of grandeur!
Me: Um, I can stick up for myself. I’ve been doing pretty good, and I am getting more positive. Though he does have a point.
Fred: DUH! You’re fucking negative. You only think about the negative, and there’s a good reason for that. It’s because your life sucks.
Me: Oh, come on now, that’s taking it a bit too far. My life doesn’t suck, I’ve just had some hard times lately and yeah, okay, it’s felt like it sucked a lot, but I’ve gotten through it. Well, I’m getting through it, and that’s what counts.
Fred: Dude, you’re a failure. You’re 15 years sober and you still don’t have your shit together, and that’s exactly what you showed everyone when you spoke. And that, you stupid human, is why he said you’re too negative.
My Higher Power: Oh for fucks sake Holly, how about you just let this shit go and rely on Me?