Pessimism Perhaps

I find myself, more and more
Wondering why we bother
What is this driving force
That keeps us going as a species
Is it simply the will to survive
To reproduce
To make sure our species continues?
That unconscious instinct
That all living things seem to have?
Because, we are surviving
But we're doing a shitty job of it

I'm often reminded
That it's 'better' now that it used to be
Seriously.
For some of us, yes
But for our species?
For our habitat?
We have crossed the point of no return
Our habitat is dying
We are killing it
And it's too late to fix that
That's not me being fatalistic
That's just reality.
Science.
We fucked up
We failed
We can still 'fix' things
But only in the sense that we can create a solution that allows us to live without that which we are destroying
How fucking sad is that?

And we keep doing it.
We learn
We grow
There's enlightenment
There's knowledge
And yet we still find new and better ways to kill
To maim
To torture
To oppress
To destroy
To hate

Tell me again why we bother?
Those little moments of hope?
Seriously?
That's it?
How the fuck does that shit work?
That lie that there's this moment that's worth fighting for?
How is that moment worth fighting for?
Really?
HOW?
WHY?

Happiness can only be had if you completely ignore what's going on in the world.
If you can be happy with full knowledge of the horrors happening all around us
Then I question your sanity.
How ironic would it be if I was the sane one.

I truly believe that I am still here simply because my instinctual desire to stay alive
Is stronger than my belief that the horrors of the world are unfixable.